The RHONY Are Serving Cunt (And Pigeons?) In Season 15 Trailer
These sophomore ladies finally feel like Housewives material.
Personally, I wasn't a fan of The Real Housewives of New York City reboot. Although it was excellent casting by modern-day Housewife standards, their first season together was one big awkward trauma dump. However, after marinating in their own Bravo juices for over a year everyone, sans Jenna Lyons, seems to know how to play the game.
The second season of any reality show is always better which is clearly evidenced in this trailer with the girls serving cunt, pigeons, illegitimate pregnancy rumours and Scientology cast members. Brynn Whitfield, Erin Lichy, Sai De Silva, Ubah Hassan, Jessel Taank and JFL are joined by new Housewife Racquel Chevremont and "friend of" the cast Rebecca Minkoff.
I've never been someone to overhype these shows but I'm into what these ladies are giving us. Drama aside, I want to see these bitches have fun like the old New York gals did and this trailer seems like they might've achieved that. Let's break down what each cast member will be bringing us for season 15.
Jenna Lyons
Jenna is not made for this world but I do like her as a person which is kind of like saying "Your dress is ugly but you wear it well." We already know we won't be seeing Jenna's new relationship on-screen so I'm sure she'll stick to giving us terrified reaction shots while the ladies go at it. I'm unsure why Bravo is promoting her as the Madonna of this franchise when she feels more like a halcyon aunt to these women.
Brynn Whitfield
If there's anyone to watch this season it's Brynn. The Samantha Jones of the group seems to be in all the drama which is the first sign the brain-dead Bravo fandom will eventually turn on her for doing her job. Someone needs to ruffle these women's pigeon feathers and Brynn is the perfect person to do so. It's unclear why this trailer revolved around pigeons but those dirty birds are the backbone of New York City so at least they're finally getting the representation they deserve.
Erin Lichy
Everyone's favourite Jewish realtor seems to be having marital problems which is the karma you typically receive when revolving any previous storyline around a wedding anniversary or vow renewal. Nothing brings people together like watching a marriage implode in front of our eyes so I'll be glued to the TV with popcorn in hand.
Jessel Taank
Jessel's storyline this year will be nagging her husband Pavit to have another baby even though deep down she probably doesn't want one. The feminine urge for a Housewife to pretend she wants to get pregnant to kill time on-camera is strong and Jessel isn't the first, nor will she be the last woman to push this frivolous narrative along. After seeing her kids cry for the entirety of last season I don't get what would entice her to add another one to the mix. Hopefully, Jessel hasn't let the fan idolisation get to her head - if so she'll flop harder than Sonja Morgan fake falling off a chair for the 34th time.
Sai De Silva
This Brooklyn gal was barely mentioned in the trailer so it's a safe bet she's probably taken herself on a "healing journey" full of therapy and crystals after the backlash she received from fans last season. Although Sai was annoying, nothing she and Erin speculated about was that bad so I would've preferred she keep that energy but if she needs to heal, then heal she must. Who knows, maybe Sai is the one who got pregnant after a drunken night?
Ubah Hassan
Chanel Ayan's cousin seems to be at the centre of the drama so it must run in the family. Aside from feuding with Brynn over modelling for Dressbarn and claiming both Naomi Campbell and Gisele Bundchen want to be her, Ubah's personal storyline is vague. Maybe she'll introduce us to her rich old white boyfriend from Connecticut? Ubah is good TV so I could watch her eat bananas and fuck up the English language until the cows - sorry, pigeons - come home.
Racquel Chevremont
In case you're suffering from PTSD seeing this Housewife have the same name as everyone's favourite Bambi-eyed bitch, don't worry this lady spells it with a C. Hopefully that C stands for cunt. Racquel is a lesbian art curator who according to Brynn is the Lebron James of the art world. I'll believe it when I see it but I'm keen for her to engage in some passive-aggressive Gallery Girls-style warfare with these women.
Rebecca Minkoff
I've been praying to the Bravo gods to cast a Scientologist Housewife for YEARS and my prayers have finally been answered. I'm sure Rebecca will dodge any question regarding the cult she's a part of and could ditch the reunion as a result but I am ready to judge her aversion to this fake religion from afar. Maybe this newfound media attention will get Leah Remini on her ass? Rebecca created a $100 million brand which is cute but nowhere near as titillating as her Scientology roots. I'm invested!
The Real Housewives of New York City airs October 1st at 9/8c on Bravo. Stay tuned at Good Tea for our shady recaps and exclusive tea on the Big Apple gals.
