Shade of the Week: Teresa Giudice & Louie Ruelas
PHOTO: Instagram
This toxic season of The Real Housewives of New Jersey has finally come to a close but I still have a few lingering thoughts about Bravo's sketchiest power couple I simply must get off my chest. Teresa Giudice and Louie "Dirty John" Ruelas are truly the sewerage of New Jersey and although I'm terrified Louie will stick Bo Dietl on my Australian ass after this article is published I'm optimistic being on a different continent may limit the effects of his slimy ways.
Let's be real, Louie scares me to my core and I'm proud to say I've never liked nor trusted this repugnant excuse of a human being. From day one I've never fallen for the fraudulently spiritual facade he's tried to fool everyone with and after years of Teresa defending his honour and having troll accounts push "Louie is a great person" propaganda down our throats his true self was finally revealed in the season finale. I don't care what side of the fence you stand on everyone with two brain cells could see Louie for the fraud he is when he wished suffering on Margaret and her family. In 100 seasons of Housewives, we've never seen anyone openly wish ill will on another person's child, which is why the show got cancelled. It can't get any lower than that comment, we've officially arrived at the bottom of the barrel folks.
Louie truly believes perception is reality. If he surrounds himself with Buddha statutes and prances around in a "TRANSCEND" t-shirt everyone will believe he's the spiritual, well-to-do man he's pretending to be. If his brain-dead wife and her even more cerebrally challenged fans peddle the narrative that he's the victim of a smear campaign the world will see he's been vindicated. The only thing Louie hasn't counted on is his own behavior exposing his maniacal ways. If Louie sat back and kept his mouth shut maybe people wouldn't feel so uncomfortable by his existence but time and time again when he's pushed we've seen his thinly veiled mask slip away and his Joker smile be exposed. None of these women would've known Bo Dietl was digging up dirt on them if Louie hadn't threatened them with it in last season's finale. Louie is his own worst enemy.
This man surely suffers from a plethora of personality disorders. Clearly, he is a malignant narcissist verging on being a sociopath given his tendency to control everything and everyone around him. I'm sure this is a diagnosis his therapist, ex-girlfriend Vanessa could agree with. If you really dig through the treasure trove of evidence mounted against him you'll realise this hasn't been a smear campaign of lies from jealous ex-girlfriends trying to ruin his happiness, it's been women trying to spread awareness about his pattern of bad behaviour and hold him accountable for his duplicitous ways. The ironic thing is if Louie had actually tried to be the "good person" he's so busy proclaiming to be he wouldn't be in this mess. Teresa would still speak to her brother and the show would be returning for another season. Let's not mince words The Real Housewives of New Jersey is over because of Louie.
Don't get me wrong, it's a good thing Teresa and Joe are no longer participating in the merry-go-round of family trauma they've been a part of for the last 13 years but Louie fucking over Joe with those pizza ovens was the final nail in that coffin. Louie brought the Housewives game of digging for dirt on each other to new lows when he enlisted Bo Dietl to investigate these women, called Margaret's son at work and contacted John Fuda's ex-wife. Are we supposed to believe everyone on the cast, his exes and anyone else who has a bad story to tell about Louie are all making shit up? Or should we put our thinking caps on and realise that he's the common denominator in all these terrible stories? In the words of Heather Dubrow, "If everyone says you're dead, it's time to lie down."
If someone wished suffering on Gia or one of Teresa's dorters the tri-state area would be scorched earth. A nuclear bomb would be dropped on Margaret’s house. Bergen County would burn to the ground. Lives would be lost. Tectonic plates would shift. The world would cease to exist. Jackie brought up Gia's name in a terrible analogy causing Teresa to call her a cunt no short of 65 times and bully her for an entire season, but her only response to Louie saying that about Margaret's son was "he doesn't mean it." We all know this woman has fewer brain cells than her brother does hair but even she has to know what he said was vile. I for one am glad Louie said what he did because it finally showed the world in no uncertain terms who he is as a person.
Teresa is a ride-or-die Italian woman and even if Louie's actions are causing instability and stress in her life she'll never admit it. The resident table flipper of New Jersey never wants anyone to see her crack so she'll stand by Louie until he's indicted for fraud or filing for bankruptcy from whatever legal trouble he finds himself in next. I can't see any feasible way or reason Bravo could bring this banged-up Bonnie and Clyde back for another season, the only reason would be to not miss out on whatever tragedy befalls this couple in the next few years. Bravo both loves and needs scandals at this stage in the game especially when it involves one of their last remaining OGs, however, I have no clue how they could justify firing an entire cast and keeping these two when their actions are the sole reason for the upcoming reboot. This is a man who needs to be in a padded cell, not the public eye but until the feds come knocking I'm sure the Bravo cameras will continue to roll on him.
Everyone knows when you lie down with dogs you get fleas and considering who these two surround themselves with, I imagine their home is severely infested. Between Bo Dietl, their skeezy cartoon lawyer James Leonard (another character I've never trusted), Jennifer Aydin, Jackie Goldschneider and a plethora of fan accounts they enlist to do their dirty work they should win an award for running with the slimmest crew in Housewives history. Even Vicki Gunvalson surrounded herself with higher quality people and her boyfriend faked cancer which will probably be Louie's next stunt to win back the Bravo fandom's sympathy. Louie and Teresa both fail to take accountability for anything and he's a master manipulator who plays her like a marionette puppet, so when you think about it, maybe they are soulmates. A true match made in hell.
Teresa is one of the most successful reality stars in the world which is sad but true and Louie clocked this from the beginning. He love-bombed her which was an easy task considering how mistreated she was by Juicy Joe and has been controlling her every move ever since. Teresa's staunch defence of Louie isn't surprising considering she's finally felt love and doesn't want to let it go, but she'll only have herself to blame when he's pissed all her money away. This couple not having a prenup is mindblogging especially when everyone and their mother warned Teresa about his con artist ways. Louie may love her in whatever way a narcissist thinks love is but he's using her for her money, fame and access and their house of cards is eventually going to fall. Louie thrives in alienating his wife as that way no one can expose him for the fraud he is, I’m surprised he isn’t selling programs on “how to be a man” and “be successful at business” but I’m sure he’s one scam away from that venture.
Louie succeeded in sabotaging Teresa's already fragile relationship with her brother, some major shit must've gone down to cause a rift in her friendship with Dina Manzo and her former podcast host also got cut off after fighting with him, even though they'd already filmed an entire season wearing "Namaste Bitches" merch. This man is systemically ruining every relationship in her life which is exactly the way he wants it. This is textbook narcissistic behaviour and brandishing his exes, who claim to be survivors of his wrath which includes domestic violence allegations, as jealous haters is what men like this do to silence their victims and keep feeding bullshit into their current one's ears.
In my opinion, Louie's most conniving act was telling Joe Gorga he wears his father's pyjamas at night. How Joe, a man we know is prone to violence, didn't punch him in his red face is beyond me. Yes, Louie later tried to walk it back by saying he wore Nonno's pyjamas one time as a joke but that wasn't the intention he had when he said that to Joe. It's not often I think we need more Kelly Kiloreen Bensimon in our lives but that would've been an optimum time for her to pop up and tell him how creepy he was. Louie's behaviour towards his brother-in-law in general has been whack and his bone-chilling red-faced threats at the season 13 reunion keep me up at night. Louie has the demeanour of a Scientologist and the mouth of a crook which is perfect considering Teresa and her dorters, especially Gia, are unknowing members of his cult.
In his latest universally panned antic, Louie went on Teresa's podcast and explained how he always encourages the girls to live their lives while they're young which is great advice to give, however, his creepy ass didn't stop at that. No, of course, Louie needed to take it one step further and talk about how he always tells them to slap on a thong. Considering the amount of damage control Teresa and that meth clinic neighbour of a lawyer have done to "help" Louie's image it's astonishing how they left that in the podcast for the world to see. Did no one watch it over and think "Mmm maybe we cut that part out?" Even by Teresa's standards, I'm astounded by how stupid these people could be especially on the heels of everyone hating him for his comment about Margaret's son. If you're going to manipulate us, can you at least try and do a good job?
At the end of the day, I hope these two live happily ever after in whatever reality they think they're living in. Louie's thinly veiled mask, thinner than most of the Ozempic-riddled cast, will only continue to slip with time and the thing about assholes is that shit always falls out of them. If Louie had embraced his flaws and villainous ways I'd probably have respect for him. If you're a cunt, let your cunt flag fly but don't hide behind Buddha. In fact, can this man please leave Buddha out of it? Louie's inability to get out of his own way really is the gift that keeps on giving and after about 2000 words I'm done beating this dead horse, let's let this man sink his own ship from here on out.
