End of an Era: RIP The Real Housewives of New Jersey
PHOTO: Bravo
The season (series?) finale of The Real Housewives of New Jersey aired on Sunday night and it's the last time we'll ever see these women share a screen, even if they weren't in the same room. The Real Housewives franchise and Bravo at large are known for making fake friends fight to the death in a cage match of fame and fortune and that's never been transparent than this season.
Since last week's batshit crazy finale aired I've been waking up in the morning thinking about so many things and my brain would burst at the seams if I didn't publish my deepest darkest thoughts about the state of New Jersey, after all, what kind of Bravoholic would I be if I didn't bid farewell to these women? Everyone's intense hatred towards each other is the reason this show is over. Each team is convinced the other is pure evil. The dark, twisted games they've been playing by leaking stories to bloggers, hiring private investigators and calling each other's enemies for dirt has forced the franchise into a place it can't come back from.
In a logical world, Bravo would cut their losses with Teresa Giudice, Jen Aydin and Jackie Goldschneider and move forward with the rest of the ladies, however, the network can't be seen to pick sides and probably doesn't want to deal with TreHugger bots coming after them so unfortunately we're stuck with an entire reboot on our hands. This was the first season without a cast trip, reunion or even any closing titles which is a real sign Bravo is done navigating the muddy waters these women play in, so instead we essentially got a Rails advertisement for the final episode of this iteration of the show.
The main reason for this divided season was the family feud between Teresa and Melissa Gorga. The show has revolved around their twisted dynamic since 2011 so it makes sense it fell apart as soon as the two matriarchs of the series stopped pretending to tolerate each other. Following last season's reunion, the only option for these sister-in-laws was total estrangement and honestly, it was freeing to see them flagrantly hating each other, a fact we've all known for years while they hid behind proxy wars of their costars in an effort to keep the peace and their jobs. In many ways, this was the realest season of New Jersey we've seen yet. Most if not all of these women, can't stand each other and instead of hosting fake luncheons and participating in useless sitdowns, no one was hiding their resentment for one another.
Knowing the last thing Teresa will ever say to Melissa is "my brother married a whore" is almost poetic in some ways. Teresa thinking Melissa is a whore has been common knowledge since their first season together, however, instead of using Kim D's Strippergate set-up or planting cheating rumours, she finally said it out of her own mouth. The masks are off and there is no relationship to salvage, these two women truly hate each other to the core and due to their enormous positions on the show, it makes it impossible for this iteration of New Jersey Housewives to continue. I don't envy Bravo's decisions in casting next season because when you break it down this is a stellar cast of all-star women who unfortunately can't make it work. Picking three or four women to stay on would be more challenging than explaining contractions to Teresa.
Love her or hate her, and I definitely lean towards the latter, Teresa Giudice is the star of the show. Although she has the intelligence of a brain-dead squirrel, she's been there since the beginning and is one of the last remaining OGs of Bravo. In a world where Bethenny Frankel and Nene Leakes have been exiled to TikTok and Zeus, respectively, if there's anything Bravo has taught us it's that everyone's replaceable. Ethically, there's no reason Bravo should keep Teresa. She was outed for using bloggers to plant stories about her cast members to drive storylines and keeping both her and Jennifer would be a foolish precedent to set across the franchise, if anything it's just given Bravolebrities an idea on how to get an edge on their opponents - if they weren't doing so already.
Teresa is a terrible human being, even by Housewives standards, so morally she shouldn't return but my gut tells me Bravo will keep her around to capture the fallout of Louie "Dirty John" Ruelas' looming legal trouble. Bravo loves a scandal and if they hang around long enough they'll strike gold with this bone-chilling, sociopathic conman who gets creepier every second he stays on screen. Whether it's divorce, imprisonment, bankruptcy or another kind of legal disaster, we all know something terribly scandalous will befall this couple in the next few years and Bravo will want to be there when it happens. Can you imagine Teresa getting fired and a year later they're both indicted for fraud? That's a bet Bravo isn't willing to lose. I can already see them flashing back to Teresa's labradoodle wedding hairdo as I type...
On the other hand, Bravo could take this "fresh start" seriously and fire both Teresa and Melissa. This would effectively birth an entirely new show like the RHONY reboot. It would also allow Bravo to prevent either party from winning the war. Both sides desperately want to be the sole stars of the show, after all, they've spent the last thirteen years fighting over it and I believe Bravo is reluctant to give either party the satisfaction of holding that title. If they were going to pick a side they would've done it after last year's reunion and bringing both back this season shows they don't want to make that decision. Melissa and Joe Gorga are also integral parts of the fabric of this show. We've seen their children grow up and Joe is the anchor for the husbands. That being said, if most of the cast won't be returning next season they no longer need the glue to hold everyone together.
One thing is for sure, Joe will be talking about this feud with his sister until the day he dies like any old Italian man does. Every "guy's night" this season, Joe sat around a fire with tequila in hand and vented to anyone who would listen about the lore of his falling out with Teresa. It's heartbreaking to see what happened to this family in front of the world's prying eyes but there's no logical reason why they should mend fences after all that's gone down. Joe and Teresa are twin flames and if he went to a medium (not the one who encouraged Melissa's fake sister storyline) I'm sure she'd say they were married in a past life. Oh well, maybe they'll work it out on the remix or in their next lifetime.
Everyone can agree the only person with job security is Dolores Catania. She's officially become the godmother of New Jersey and however boring you think her Switzerland behaviour is, her neutral position has secured a spot for next season. Dolores is the only cast member able to bridge the gap between anyone and is the embodiment of New Jersey with her Paterson upbringing, street smarts and tan Jersey glam. If there's anyone who can steer this sinking ship into the future: it's Dolores. I wish Dolores would recognise her position on the show enough to realise she doesn’t need to kiss Teresa’s ass to keep her job and would be a much better cast member if she didn't let a felon's temper get in the way of her expressing her real thoughts and opinions.
In my eyes, Margaret Josephs won this season and if you don't agree then you're probably a TreHugger who needs to exit this browser and touch grass. The entire last season revolved around whether or not Margaret had an “arsenal” on her cast members and her actions toward Jackie proved she does, however, if we’ve learnt anything it’s that every single Housewife has a manila folder of receipts ready to pull out at any given time. Marge outing Jackie's communication with "The Ex" since 2021 vindicated her completely.
Teresa's entire stance against Margaret is that she was talking to Louie's ex and leaking things to bloggers which is idiotic seeing as both she and Jennifer were not only talking to Margaret's ex-best friend but have now been proven to make up stories for bloggers to post. Trying to expose each other for playing dirty behind the scenes is pointless because everyone is playing the same game. No one's hands are clean in this, but of course, it would take a brain to see this and the scarecrow of New Jersey unfortunately doesn't have one of those.
The only reasons Teresa didn’t turn on Jackie were because she couldn't give Margaret the satisfaction of ruining their relationship and the bird-brained OG can only have one scapegoat at a time. Teresa and Jackie will continue to flaunt their fraudulent relationship online but Tre’s only purpose in keeping the lawyer turned writer turned public embarrassment around will be to have another solider in her TreHugging army. If Teresa is off the show, I could see Margaret staying on, however, if they keep the table flipper around Marge won’t be anywhere close to a Bravo camera. Maybe they’ll throw her on The Traitors to battle it out with B-list reality stars?
When it comes to Jackie Goldschenider we’ve seen the last of her sneaky ways. I’ve never had more second-hand embarrassment for anyone than I had for Jackie in the last moments of the finale. Seeing her waddle out of Rails with pants full of crap was more humiliating than anything Gizelle Bryant has ever worn and that says everything. Jackie throwing away her friendships to climb inside Teresa’s rectum proves she has zero integrity and I'm surprised she hasn't entered the witness protection program after the entire world saw her shit herself.
It's a shame Jackie's time on the show came to this since she was at her best when using wit and intelligence to stand up to Teresa, two qualities New Jersey lacks on a whole. Jackie stated in her book (which I read) that Teresa spreading the Evan cheating rumours caused her to relapse which is truly pathetic when you take into account her current position as a tenant of Teresa's colon. The only thing left for Jackie in the entertainment world could be a Depends commercial and according to Lisa Rinna that’s a pretty lucrative deal, so all hope is not lost for her.
Danielle Cabral is one of the more likely cast members to return for another season. She has a young family, a bubbly personality and a fiery mouth, however, her involvement in two physical altercations is the only thing holding her back. How could Bravo justify keeping her on? As for Rachel Fuda, I could see her going either way. Bravo will keep her around to showcase her pregnancy and invest more time into the Fudas or let her fade into the Bravo sunset. She’s witty, snarky and an overall good Housewife but again, she’ll only be around if Queen Bee Teresa is not. Danielle and Rachel were excellent late-season additions so why not keep them and introduce us to some of their friends, instead of forcing us to meet SIX new women New York style?
Jennifer Aydin's time on the show is done. Not only was she exposed for leaking stories about her costars but she also admitted to faking an entire storyline last season so Danielle could out the Melissa cheating rumours. The sole reason the Princess of Paramus was brought back this year was for Teresa to have someone defend her indefensible behaviour. Jen has veered into Danielle Staub territory where her evil ways have become unwatchable but if she wants to continue her lousy acting career from season 13, maybe Lifetime can give her a supporting role in a cheap made-for-TV movie.
Along with Dolores and Danielle, Jen Fessler also wins “most likely to stay beyond the shakeup” as she has no serious beef with anyone and brings much-needed comedic relief to this insanely dark show. Fessler didn't get a facelift and commit to a life of Ozempic to go home now. James Gandolfini's one-time boo brings enough to keep the show interesting but not too much where she's a controversial figure to keep on. Not even Bravo knows if there will be a next season, but here's hoping Fessler gets another chance if cameras ever roll in Jersey again.
After 15 years and 14 seasons, remember they took a year off when Teresa was in the can, The Real Housewives of New Jersey may have finally come to a close and I for one am fine to see them go. The only thing keeping me watching aside from a severe case of Bravolism was the intensely toxic dynamic these women fostered in the last few years and now that's gone for good. Much like Scandoval, I'm happy to have this drama fade off my timeline, however, I do thank these ladies for their service in creating impeccable TV during their run. On the upside, at least we got to say goodbye to these gals, unlike our beloved RHONY ladies. RIP RHONJ!
