TBT: Tamra Judge Judges The RHONJ 2009 Premiere

This is fucking amazing.

For Good Tea's fourth weekly Throwback Thursday of vintage Housewives blogs where the ladies write about episodes of different cities, I decided to focus on Tamra Judge recapping the FIRST EVER EPISODE of The Real Housewives of New Jersey. Talk about a fucking throwback. Am I right?

Like usual, Tamra doesn't hold back, even if there is a little mafia humour and surprisingly she was pretty on point with all her descriptions of Jersey's OG Housewives. Oh and she even managed to throw in a shameless plug. Check out her recap below:

Orange County has their oranges, New York their apples, Atlanta their Peaches. SO, WHY ANT DOS JUR-ZEE BROADS HOLD-IN GUNS?

I would have to say that NJ is probably going to be my favorite Housewives franchise next to Orange County. What's not to like about Jersey? Good food, big hair and smart-ass people that don't tolerate any bullshit. Gotta love it!

Teresa AKA "The Nanny": Yes, if any woman ever needed boobies, it would be her. I was starting to think her head was on backwards. However, if your married to an ass man and he is used to seeing the flat of your back then Fuh-gedda-boud-dit ...who cares? Joe, her "juicy" husband, is a entrepreneur and has a construction business, which spells out M-O-B to me. Nothing says dirty money like 120K cash in your wallet.

Dina "Big Boobie Blondie": Dina is very pretty and seems like the kind of girl that would kick your ass if you pissed her off. She is self-proclaimed gold digger, single Mom that is married to someone that is gone all the time. Sounds like the perfect husband!

Mama Caroline "The Enabler": Caroline is a firecracker. I think she has a great family and great values. Her sons Albie and Christopher are going to be heart throbs in the reality TV world. I almost died laughing when Chris the uneducated son called Albie a douche bag for collecting books, as he talked about opening a strip club. Say what? Say what?

Danielle "Duck Lips Get Ya Off": The only non-related broad on the show. I think she is going to be the biggest train wreck of them all. Yes, she has a hot body and God bless her for letting us all know by working out in her bikini. Her comment about being a model and how "celebrities got to know her" made me wonder...one of Heidi's girls? Do you know Charlie Sheen?

Jacqueline "Keep the Peace Vegas": seems very nice and tries to keep everyone happy. However, I can see a little shit-stirring going on in that head. Congratulations on the baby and I hope you share pictures after the birth. And if you need a little help getting the baby weight off http://www.duzoxintv.com/tamra/

Thoughts? Sound off in the comments!