Jersey Shore Recap: Stranded On Boner Island
By Danielle Levy
We’re back with part 2 of Pauly’s birthday celebration episode in Atlantic City and, while the group awaits Jen’s frightening arrival, they split into 2 groups and have girls day/boys day which is basically “Let’s just all discuss how scared we are of Jen” day. We learn that this is the first time Angeliners is meeting Laurens and that Chris can’t really answer the the million dollar question of why/how he puts up with Angelina. He claims they’re BFFs meanwhile they sit at dinner fighting over hot dogs and I can’t even get a text back. Tbh Chris seems more thrilled to be on TV/part of this crew (who could blame him?) and out of that Staten Island shit box for the weekend.
The group gets ready to head to dinner/pool party for Pauly’s birthday but Jenni pulls Ron aside because she wants to know if it’s ok to talk to Jen and be friends with her when she shows up. I’m gonnnna go ahead and predict that if Ron’s STILL with this bitch after being cheated on, abused on an Instagram live, & dragged, then it’s probably fine. All I DO know is that if Jen was still at all cool with the cast, she definitely won’t be after seeing this episode. Prob already has JS voodoo dolls lined up in her Vegas crack den.
Ron and Jen meet up before dinner and leave the baby with Ron’s mom (wonder if this woman hates Jen as much as she should) and unite as one in their matching light blue outfits, giving us major Justin Timberlake/Britney Spears Canadian Tuxedo vibes circa 2001 AMA’s.
When the couple arrives at dinner it’s nothing short of “Awkward! Awkward! Awkward!” (Pauly D voice) that no one can hide their hatred for her long enough to say hello. Gotta love Jenni for bringing up this bitch’s MUG SHOT at dinner (atrocious shot but at least her brows looked good) which prompts Jen to apologize but how bout just like.. chill out and be a mom and don’t hit people? Vin continues giving Angeliners the Mariah Carey “I don’t know her” shtick and then it’s proven that she did, in fact, live 1.3 miles away from Vin growing up. Ang finally pulls out her very first win in 10 years of knowing these people! A big congrats to her!
After dinner, some Atlantic City Caesar’s Palace rep shows up to scold Ron/Jen and apparently since Harrah’s is owned by Planet Hollywood (where Jen previously had a meltdown) she is NOT supposed to be on the premises. The two talk their way out of it (a big eye roll to this “enrolling in anger management” bullshit) but how much more embarrassment needs to hit them before they decide to get their shit together? It’s also a little weird that with all Ron shares with the group, he walks back in the room and just glosses right over it. I guess that’s where he draws the line? Do we think at this point Jen is banned from more places than she is allowed? Probably.
Pauly D then gets on the 1’s and 2’s and obviously stalker/supporter (unclear) Vanessa shows up at the club and honestly I’m super proud of this girl for her commitments. Never committed to something so hardcore in my life. All I’m saying is if Pauly ever goes missing we know which basement to direct police. Ron/Jen seem to be having a good time (and it’s amazing that the group refers to Jen as “Taters”) but she’s really turning up so we know she’s going to rear her ugly head.. and soon. Angelina tries to kiss Vin in front of her fiancée (not surprisingly) and here’s Chris again genuinely not giving a shit because all he wants to do is gain enough of a following to be able to promote Fit Tea/Diff Eyewear on Insta for the next year.
Now we all know Ron can start some drama, but it does seem like Jen gets upset with him for no reason (blame it on the alc) because according to film, Ron didn’t grind with multiple fat women OR stick his head in between a cocktail waitress’s breasts soo what’s the problem, JEN? The crew leaves shortly after and orders the most pizza pies I’ve seen in a single sitting, 2 pies fell on the floor (a CRIME in some states), Pauly claims he has to wake up early to ditch a hardcore grenade and leaves his brusband Vin stranded on Boner Island. Vin ultimately sends 2 girls home after claiming it just wouldn’t be fun to do without Pauly.
The episode ends with (what else?) Vin trying to talk some sense into Ron, but Jenni previously made a really valid point by saying that Ron is not strong enough/will never be the one to end any relationship, it’ll always have to be the other person. Ron continues to do that thing where he pretends to listen to good advice, knowing all the while he has absolutely no plan to stop doing the same stupid shit over and over again.
Jersey Shore Family Vacation airs Thursdays at 8/7c on MTV. Stay tuned at Good Tea for our shady recaps and exclusive tea on all the GTL drama!
