Shade of the Week: Ronnie Ortiz-Magro

Disclaimer: Judging by the intense speed this hot mess express is travelling at there could be 30 more Instagram fights by the end of the week, however, this article was published on Wednesday and discusses all the mess prior to that.

I don't think the term RAHHHNNN STAAAAPPP has ever been more appropriate.

Although this shade is about Ronnie Ortiz-Magro his baby mama Jen Harley is equally as complicit in the shade worthy behaviour that was exhibited earlier this week. I don't understand their mutual need to fight over social media but it clearly shows their irresponsible, immature and thirsty ways which we already became accustomed to for years on Jersey Shore.

Yes, these fights are trashy and dumb but I am living for any drop of tea that I can get my hands on. At this point, I'm holding my mouth open under the dripping teapot that is their mess of a relationship. Their whole online beef started after Ronnie said on his Instagram story: "you can't turn a natural born hoe into a housewife" and she clapped back claiming "you can't turn a cokehead into a father."

Where's the lie?

I don't know Jen or anything about her overly worked vagina but she has some hoeish ways about her. I'm not judging but facts are facts. Ronnie also has been a party boy for the last ten years, so it's not a crazy idea to think that a line of coke may or may not have gone up his nose.

Even after the initial social media exchange between the couple, Ronnie apologised but couldn't help himself to accuse his baby mama of fucking a guy on a taco float in their pool after she claimed he threatened to send her sex tape to her 11-year-old son. Seriously, this shade writes itself, I don't even need to think of any funny quips to say about this fucked up couple, but this was all child's play compared to the complete and utter mess that was their physical fight on Instagram live.

Seriously, are you THAT thirsty you not only spent two days coming at each other on your Instagram stories but now you have to duke it on the live for even more attention? As a man, Ronnie shouldn't have gotten in her face but we didn't see anyone strike the other, we just saw a hoe and a coke addict roll around on the floor while their baby was nowhere to be seen. Can they hit each other off social media for the sake of their family and mental health?

The weirdest and most uncomfortable part of this whole scandal is Scheana Shay's involvement. Trust that the divorced reality star found some kind of way to be relevant in the latest scandal. It was hilarious to see him randomly pop up on her Instagram story after an entire day of intensely beefing with his baby mama. These reality stars make my job so fucking easy.

I don't think those two ever hooked up but I love a crossover and Ronnie obviously can't keep his dick in his pants when it comes to a bootleg Kardashian. In a fucked up way, this would be an ideal relationship with their poor mutual views of fidelity.

All of this was triggered after Ronnie was seen getting his dick sucked in a bathroom on the latest Jersey Shore episode while Jen was sitting at home with a baby bump and an overly used taco float. He also spilled the tea on TV that he still loves Sammi (duh) and doesn't see a future with his girlfriend. I feel like that would've hurt even more than the cheating, if these two were a real couple. They have been committed to having a baby together but I don't think either one of these idiots wanted to committ forever.

We all knew there was only a matter of time before these two broke up, but who knew that it would be this messy!? Let's just pray for that baby because she is gonna need it with two thirsty parents who still live a Vegas lifestyle well into their thirties. Right now, it's been confirmed the couple are no longer together which is the best thing, not only for the betterment of their child but for themselves.

I'm not mad or sympathetic towards either side because they both knew who the other was when they got involved and neither one is better than the other. He was a washed-up reality star with an uncontrollable need to get his dick wet and she was a hoe about town with an 11-year-old son and an Instagram handle by the name tater_tot_kitty. You attract what you are and these two both attracted a huge steaming pile of trash.

These two have officially surpassed Rob Kardashian and Blac Chyna for the messiest split ever, and that's a hard thing to achieve.