KUWTK Recap: Mommie Dearest
It's a battle of the bitches for Kris Jenner affections! Kim and Khloe realised that the momager's attention has been completely focused on her lip kit mogul Kylie. Watching Kylie in her business meeting was like watching a child King of Europe making decisions on behalf of his country, except Kylie probably has more money. Kris claimed that she is her new favourite because she's "so nice to her," but let's be real, it's because she is making a killing of that 10%. Isn't it an unspoken rule that you can't have a favourite child anyway? Well, at least she's honest about it!
As a way to try and be her mom's new favourite, Khloe brought her OCD to Kris' kitchen and pimped it out with containers and storage strategies which held her mom's attention for about 10 seconds before Kim walked in with a cake. Khloe then clapped back with closing down Saks 5th Avenue for a day which superficial Kris lapped up.
After realising all the positive attention that she had been receiving, Kris bought herself a toaster and claimed "her favourite" Kylie bought it for her, to try and make the other girls be even nicer to her. It didn't take the sisters long to realise how their mom manipulated them so they reacted in the only way that they know how: throwing an expensive af cake all over their millionaire mother. What is this RHONJ? Siggy would not be happy people.
While Kim and Khloe were trying to be the next Kardashian favourite, Kourtney was playing coy about her new boy toy Younes. She kept hinting about speaking french and talking about her exotic trips but she wouldn't specifically confront the elephant in the room - which is her new boo.
Khloe got riled up and made it her mission to make Kourt say his name on camera. So Kim and Khloe (who seem as close as ever) concocted a scheme to try and catch Kourt in her lie. They told her that Chris Hemsworth wanted to go on a date with her and she declined. If you decline that offer you are either taken or a lesbian. By the way, Kim didn't even know who Thor was, which isn't a surprise considering she only keeps up with rappers and basketball players.
It was pretty clear that Kourtney wanted to keep her relationship as far away from the show as possible and not talk about him on camera, but she can't give us a taste of the cake and then take it away. Finally Kourtney K confirmed that she was dating Younes which wasn't news to anyone.
While all these messy storylines were going on, Kim and Kanye were finalising their plans for a surrogate. Kim spilled the tea that it takes a year to actually approve a surrogate after all the tests, which means that she was definetly lying and being silly when she tried to get Khloe to be her surrogate a few months back. Lies they tell.
Finally the ONE embryo got implanted in the surrogate, with only a 60% chance of taking. After all that time and money and there was only 60% hope that she would actually get pregnant?! The mess! We also found out that in-between North and Saint, Kim tried the same procedure and lost the baby. They must REALLY want another baby to boost the ratings and sell their shit. After 10 days, the surrogate was officially pregnant and Kim announced the news to her family via FaceTime, which is the most Kardashian thing ever.
She spilled the tea (that we already knew) that she won't talk about the surrogate because she doesn't want her to be chased or followed by the media, which is far enough because it is hard to live the A-list life, especially when you have a million dollar baby up inside you. One pregnancy confirmed, but we still have two more! That Christmas card can't come soon enough!
Keeping Up With The Kardashians airs Sunday at 9/8c on E! Stay tuned at Good Tea for our shady recaps and exclusive tea on the first family of reality TV.
