RHOA Recap: Bone Carrier Gang
I don't understand how Porsha is still on the show. The Queen of THOTlandia has zero friends and can only film scenes with her boring sister. Sheree doesn't count because we all know that she can't say no to a check. Porsha's reach of a storyline this year is having no friends and being a vegan. The word on the street is that Kenya won't be back for season 11 but if this is what Porsha is giving us then I think it's more likely that her cornbread fed ass is on the line. Also, the fact that she named her house is dumb. Chateau Sheree is iconic, Moore Manor and Lake Bailey are acceptable but Porsha's Palace is just redundant.
Over at Lake Bailey, 50 Cynt was bathing like a godness in her quaint little abode. At this point I've surrendered to the fact that Cynthia is boring and I'm kind of buying into it. Cynthia adds nothing to the show but she is so pretty to look at. She's easily one of the prettiest Housewives out there. This week we got to see 50 Cynt go on a very kinky date with a 28-year-old photographer who she described as Norbit with swag - I died. He summoned Miss Bailey to a dingy warehouse with chickens and then blind folded her. Umm, red flag? After her date got his 50 shades kinks out of the way he took her to his studio and then wanted to take photos of her. I can't think of a creeper first date, I mean, what did he do with photos? Cynthia and her date who's name xscapes me (I see you Kandi) had a nice conversation over some food but I think Cynthia realised that she can't be going around with someone who is closer in age to her daughter than her. I am loving seeing Miss Cynt dating tho. You get that wig!
While Cynthia was on a date with her barely legal boo, Sheree was talking to her "life coach" Jack Daniels. I hate a life coach, I mean just go to a therapist or something don't be acting all pretentious with your life coach. But if your going to go to a life coach don't go to one named Jack Daniels, for many people that's why you have to go the life coach in the first place.
She by Sheree was visiting Mr Daniels to talk about how she can explain the abuse that went on in her marriage to her kids. I don't understand why Sheree still hasn't told her kids. This mess aired at the beginning of the year and then they discussed it at the reunion so how can she STILL not of told her kids. A reach of a storyline perhaps? To prepare for her enviable sit down she asked her Bone Carrier Gang of friends to head on over to Kandi's house so that they can practice how she can tell them. I've loved Sheree and her bone carrier ways from the beginning but this is so stupid. She should have told her kids months ago and she doesn't need a scene in front of the cameras to practice how. Just rip it off like bandaid. Yeah, it's gonna be hard but it needs to be done.
Miss Moore, soon to be Mrs Moore-Daly is still twirling around in her wedded bliss. Kenya and Cynthia went to a park to discuss all the drama surrounding her surprise nuptials. Apparently Mr Daly is unimpressed with all the media interest and is overwhelmed with all the blogs talking about him. I'm sorry is he Beyonce? He may be married to Keyonce but this is definitely not an A-List marriage. All the haters are saying that Kenya's marriage is fake but I don't understand why she would marry someone for the show if he doesn't want to be on the show. Wouldn't she marry a thirsty fame whore if she wanted to get married for attention? All of Kenya's relationships have been scrutinised and everybody thinks she rents her boyfriends but I am #TeamKenya on this one.
It was really sad to see Kenya crying off camera to the producers about potentially getting a divorce, already? What's it been, 5 minutes? Her husband Marc also lives in New York and Kenya hasn't sold Moore Manor yet so I'm not sure how this marriage is going to work. Her husband obviously hates the show but I think they need to do a compromise where he can hang around in the background of a scene and not run away from all the Bravo cameras that he sees. Also I loved the fact that Kenya just wears her wedding vail around the house. That is such a Kenya Moore move.
Finally, Shamea threw herself a wedding shower which had Kandi, Sheree and Porsha in attendance. Even though things have been a bit distant with Shamea and Porsha's friendship, they have been BFF's for over 10 years so wouldn't you expect your longterm bestie to be at your wedding? Nope. Porsha walked in Shamea's wedding shower with her old wedding ring on one hand and a fist full of excuses on the other. Porsha's story of why she can't attend her bestie's wedding changed from the flights to Kenya being too expensive to some made up health problem. Really girl? Just say you don't want to go. Porsha is an admitted liar so she had NO credibility at this point.
Shamea's shower also included some twerking and a hot dog contest which is exactly what you would expect from Shamea. Always a THOT at heart. After the fun was over Porsha and Shamea discussed Porsha's flimsy excuses for not going to her wedding while Kandi and her friend Carmon sat in the back and dragged Porsha for days. I was living for Kandi's subtle shade. She has EVERY right to drag Porsha's ass for the shit she pulled last year.
All the peaches realised that no resolution could be reached so they left and the cameras stopped rolling, but Shamea and Porsha started fighting in the carpark. Porsha was mad that Shamea brought up their beef in front of the cameras because they had already discussed it, but this was Shamea's way to finally earn her peach. I guess it didn't work. Also where was NeNe at? That rich bitch was MIA the entire episode, however her and her veneerers are back next week! Maybe she was off counting her checks?
The Real Housewives of Atlanta airs Sunday at 9/8c on Bravo. Stay tuned at Good Tea for our shady recaps and exclusive tea on the juiciest peaches in Georgia!
