RHONJ Recap: Welcome Back Scumbag
I loved, loved, loved this episode of Jersey! Every single episode of this season has delivered so far and it just goes to show that these Jersey girls know how to redeem themselves, those OC housewives need to take note.
Teresa is obviously dealing with a lot. Her mother died, her husband is in a jail and her father is living with her and her 4 girls. How much more can this woman take? Naturally her children are affected by all the change but her spit fire Milana is taking it the hardest. I know people claimed that Teresa was a new person after prison stint but I feel like she is a new person after her mom died. She is more raw and real than she's ever been before and I like this new side to her. Tre isn't playing dumb anymore, she is taking control and it is a good look for her.
Siggy arrived at Dolores' house fresh from her confrontation with Margaret and spilled the tea about her optimism towards a friendship with the pigtailed girl in the group. The Sig also told Dolores that Margaret and the other girls believe that she is a "yes" person to Siggy. This news pissed Dolores off because she has been a loyal friend to Teresa since day one. I mean just look up loyalty in the dictionary and you'll find Dolores' face!
Melissa and Margaret had dinner with their Joes. Yes, both girls are married to men named Joe. How many Joes can this show have? Joe Gorga was trying to make Margaret and her husband's affair into his own porn fantasy, but in reality their relationship started in a much more dull way. Margaret wanted sex but Joe was much more shy. Long story short, they ended up getting their freak on in a hotel room, not quite the fantasy Joe Gorga wanted. The couples went into the Gorga's pool room which had a blown up picture of Melissa's book. What is it with these girls and their book product placement? Siggy had her book poster in her Boca home. These girls are good at subliminal advertising. Margaret told Melissa about how Siggy apologised to her and Melissa is pissed that she didn't get an apology of her own. Really Melissa? If you think Siggy needs to move on, then you do to!
Over at the Flicker household, Siggy is dealing with her son going to college. By the way, Joshua has grown up so much from the last season, he went from a little boy to a man. But he will always be a little boy in Momma Siggy's eyes. They had a very distanced interaction in the kitchen which left Sig in tears, I know people think Siggy cries too much but she leads with her heart. I always feel bad for the Housewives kids because it must feel awkward being on these show.
Teresa, Danielle and Melissa all had a ladies lunch where nothing really happened. The most important thing was that Melissa told Teresa that she should displine her children more after Tre announced that she is taking her daughters to Puerto Rico. I feel like this issue is gonna come up in the future. Mark my words people. Melissa is smarter than to bring up Tre's parenting style because if she isn't careful, another table will be thrown!
Joe Gorga and Teresa were getting their restaurant ready and Melissa was late for their meeting. The Gorga siblings were pissed that Melissa would ever be late and Tre started throwing jaws at her sister-in-law. Tre got pissed that Melissa wouldn't wait tables but I think her real anger is from Melissa told her how to parent. I am #TeamMelissa on this fight. Melissa is busy over at Envy and she was blindsided that her husband and his sister bought a restaurant without telling her and then was just expected to start waiting tables like a wannabe actress. I don't think so!
Newbie Margaret was also busy running her fashion empire from her home while her mom Marge Sr. was spilling all the tea, whether you asked for it or not. Marge is 70-years-old and is still ready to mingle. She was busy sending sexts and talking to various men and I love it. You do YOU Marge! I'm picturing Marge as a total cougar but I could be wrong. There's nothing I love more than a Housewives mother, especially the sassy opinionated ones. Maybe they should bump Marge up to Housewives status for season 9.
Finally Siggy was having a party at her house to advertise her friends handbag and jewellery line and the shit really hit the fan. All the girls came, except Margaret who was hustling in Vegas. It's not what you think - she was at a her shoe show not stripping. I could have phrased that sentence better. Dolores and Melissa rocked up to the party and the topic of Cakegate found it's way back into the conversation. Siggy and Melissa are still both expecting apologies from one another. Melissa made it clear that she thinks Sig should drop the issue, so shouldn't she stop wanting an apology of her own? Siggy couldn't handle that Melissa didn't see a problem with the cake throwing which prompted her to ask all her friends if they think that throwing a cake is wrong. Then she yelled at Melissa front of her friends and got on the floor and started screaming. WHAT IS HAPPENING? I love Siggy so I was on board for this emotional rollercoaster but Melissa was humiliated. That would be mortifying.
As Siggy was roasting Melissa, Danielle was up to her old told ways on the car ride to the party with Teresa. Danielle is claiming that she never wants to start drama but feels obliged to tell Teresa that Dolores said she only cares about money. I don't believe this for a second. Since when did Danielle not want to start drama? Does she remember her first run on the show? When Tre and Dan arrived at Siggy's party, Tre was pissed to hear about the public shaming of Melissa. She went straight for Siggy and Dolores and it wasn't long before Danielle spilled the tea about what "Dolores told her." Dolores immeditalty let her Paterson side out and called Danielle a scumbag for claiming that she trashed her friend of 20 years. This is the way that Jersey should be. I 100% believe that Dolores never said that!
True to form, Danielle played the victim and cried. Doesn't she always do this? Remember the country club brawl? After Danielle finished her performance, Teresa and Melissa left with her which speaks volumes. Why would Teresa believe her former enemy over her BFF of 20 years? Doesn't she see the deception that is Danielle Staub. Miss Staub is desperate to become a housewife again and will do anything to get promoted from her friend role. I would like to say that Danielle has gone back to her old ways, but let's be real - leopards never change their spots.
Next time: The Gorga's open their family restaurant and Siggy isn't letting her beef with Margaret go! Every episode in this season will be legendary!
The Real Housewives of New Jersey airs Wednesday at 9/8c on Bravo. Stay tuned at Good Tea for our shady recaps and exclusive tea on the craziest ladies in Jersey!
