RHOD Recap: Mexican Dildos
The ladies of Dallas are following a Housewives rite of passage, which is going south of the border to Mexico and mixing it up. The OC, New York, Atlanta, Jersey and Beverly Hills ladies have all lived it up in Mexico so it only makes sense that the Dallas girls follow in their footsteps.
The girls landed and didn't waste anytime. Brandi and Stephanie tried to make the trip as fun as possible by planting a dildo in D'Andra's bag. Brandi also spilled the tea about their previous girls trip where all the girls put eggs up their vaginas. WHAT?! This dildo thing is nothing compared to that crazy egg game.
All the ladies went down to beach and started drinking. I've got to say, these ladies can really drink! D'Andra discovered the massive black dildo in her bag and it was hilarious, all the girls were laughing - except for resident prude, Kameron. Brandi tried to loosen her up by chasing her with the dildo but it only made Kameron more annoying. Ugh. She is like a barbie version of Heather Dubrow. Remember when she ran away from those Mexican strippers? LeeAnne broke up the dildo chase and buried the big boy in the sand. I hope someone got it out!
After Dildo-Gate the group split into two and the bitching began! Cary threw shade, saying that Rich has a small penis. GIRL! You need to worry about Mark and his Round-Up friends instead of trash talking LeeAnne's man. Also I feel like Rich would be packing down there, he seems like a REAL man! LeeAnne finally told D'Andra about her engagement and it gave me real joy. She was honestly so happy for her and it showed that those two have a real, true friendship! It was a heartwarming moment!
The ladies all had dinner at the hotel and they ALL looked snatched. The fake tan was definitely in supply but they looked great. Brandi and Kameron faced off again. Kameron is a prude. She thinks she's better than Brandi and Steph and it's just annoying. She came for their parenting style which is just low. Kameron is definitely my least favourite new housewife of the year. Yep, I even like Dorit better! Maybe if Kameron used the dildo she would loosen the fuck up and have some fun. I would rather watch Brandi and Stephanie fart together than watch Kameron make pink dog food. Right in the middle of the fight LeeAnne decided that it was the perfect time to share her engagement news. Everyone was fake and happy for her, but I LOVE her engagement ring.
On day 2 in Mexico, Brandi and Stephanie had the biggest bubble bath ever. I mean how much bubbles can one bath have? I was just praying that one of them wouldn't drown or get lost in that bubble bath. LeeAnne, Kameron and D'Andra all went to a spa but sorry girls I would rather have a drunken bath with Brandi and Steph any day. After everyone was cleansed the women decided to go to dinner at a cool cave restaurant.
The tequila was flowing and Brandi was slamming them down. Kameron was trying to pretend like she doesn't drink, unless she really doesn't which I also believe. Brandi started to play "Two Truths and One Lie" but Cary quickly turned that train around. She asked LeeAnne about the "hands" comment and LeeAnne confessed that she never said she wanted to kill her. I agree with D'Andra, it should of been done there. BUT then Brandi brought up how Cary said that her doctor killed people on the table. Cary denied it but let's be real - somebody is lying and I don't think it's Brandi. LeeAnne and Steph both backed Brandi up and Cary runs around like a know it all so I definitely think that she said it.
People like to shit on LeeAnne and make her look crazy but I think we are seeing Cary's true colours come out. Cary low key confessed that she said it in her confessionals! Catch that shade! Bravo left us on a cliffhanger but the girls are still having fun in Mexico next week!
The Real Housewives of Dallas airs Monday at 10/9c on Bravo. Stay tuned at Good Tea for our shady recaps and exclusive tea on the lone star ladies.
