The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills: Season 10 Cast Ranked!
PHOTOS: Bravo
For the first time in a long time, this season of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills was actually good. With LVC out of the picture, the show felt fresh and rejuvenated, even if Denise's sex life was the main selling point of the season. Every episode served a purpose and without an excessive amount of filler (and I mean episodes, not what's in these bitches faces), this show actually managed to be entertaining for a change. Check out our ranking below:
8. Teddi Mellencamp
How the fuck is this woman still on the show? Apart from renting out Kyle's rectum and peddling a pregnancy storyline that nobody cared about, the only memorable thing Teddi did this season was out Denise's (alleged) affair with Brandi, but if she didn't do it I'm sure someone else would've. Teddi's boring, insufferable, annoying, and just an overall horrible reality star who serves no purpose on the show.
Teddi cried all season about Denise saying she "lives in her father's shadow" but at the end of the day, that's why she was cast on the show and we've still never even seen her dad, which is literally the only interesting thing about this pathetic tampon tunnel. Also, her last-ditch effort to have a personality by dying her hair pink was just tragic.
7. Erika Jayne
Erika Jayne's time on the show is up, we've seen everything we're going to see and she's officially morphed into a boring caricature who thinks costumes equate a personality and saves her shade for the confessionals. I'm happy that she finally achieved her Broadway dream, but she's gaining more from the show than we're gaining from her, and that's where I draw the line. Erika's schtick of having a glam squad and giving us cold one-liners is played out and apart from her fighting with Aaron about whose dick is bigger, I can't think of one other memorable thing she did. Next!
6. Lisa Rinna
Aside from giving us overly produced conversations with her daughters and the one scene with her husband, what the fuck did Lisa Rinna show us about her life this season? Yet, she's the one who wants everyone to own it and be honest. Somehow in this Denise drama, she became the honesty police and really proved that she values making a good TV show above being a good friend. Rinna's fake tears about going to church can't save her and neither can her plethora of wigs. Rinna knows how to play the game way too well and she's faker than her gigantic lips, which is when you know it's time to go.
5. Garcelle Beauvais
I would've loved to put Garcelle higher on this list. She brought a great new energy as the first African American Housewife, however, due to her being M.I.A. for most of the season combined with the other girls being too scared to be seen beefing with the only black girl, she didn't have much going on. Her saving grace, aside from her hilarious personality, was her weird one-sided beef with Kyle, her asking Rinna about her daughter's eating disorder, and her loyalty towards Denise. Garcelle has the makings of a great Housewife and next season she'll definitely come into her own.
4. Dorit Kemsley
Buca di Beppo. I think that's all I need to say. I still don't understand Dorit's decision to design one room in one Buca di Beppo, but the weird, confusing nature of this business deal is definitely on-brand for Dorit. She has all the makings of a good Housewife: extravagant glam, an insatiable need to fight about confusing things with other women, a love for alcohol, and a sketchy financial situation. What isn't the accent confused Housewife giving us? Her trying (and failing) to help Denise save herself from the clusterfuck she was entangled in was also a nice side storyline. Snaps for Dorit!
3. Sutton Stracke
Dolce and Gabbana's number one fan was robbed of a diamond, but let's all say a collective prayer that she gets one next season. It might seem strange that Sutton is this high on the list but her weird interactions and quirky personality were exactly what this show needs. She's an unfiltered southern belle who wears ugly couture, has a panic attack without assigned seating, is rolling in her ex-husband's money, and called out Teddi for being pregnant and boring. What's not to love? Sutton truly is so bizarre and I could watch her awkwardly stumble around for hours. She's basically the West Coast's answer to Ramona Singer, but she's not a cunt. I have four words: let the mouse go!
2. Kyle Richards
The only drama this season that didn't revolve around Denise was when all the ladies were going after Kyle for her friendship with Teddi, which is probably why she's ranked this high. Her lack of sleep from North Carolina, freshly cut bangs and rocky relationships with the other women are all factors for why she was such an unstable bitch at the beginning of the season, which is my favorite version of Kyle.
Was her feud with Dorit stupid? Yes. But did she give us a party with past Housewives, the morally corrupt Faye Resnick and Kris Jenner? Abso-fucking-lutely. Kyle is the nucleus of this show and an all-star Housewife, so even though Teddi lives inside her anus, let's recognize that next to Denise, she was a key player this season. Let's just be grateful the bangs are gone...
1. Denise Richards
Did Denise lie? Yes. Did she send the network a cease and desist? Also yes, but she was the only thing anyone spoke about all season. Denise's storyline revolved around the other women hounding her about a threesome conversation for weeks before ambushing her with the tea about Brandi in Rome.
Aside from her drunken slouching in her at home confessionals and her weird smirks, the main thing Denise did this season was avoid the other women at all costs. Is this what a good reality star should do? Fuck no. But was it entertaining? Fuck yes.
I could watch drunk Denise lie for hours, but at the end of the day, there's nowhere for a Housewife to go if they don't want to open up their lives completely. Denise isn't at the top of this list because she contributed the most, she's at the top because she was the focal point of the season and without her we would've watched Kyle and Dorit argue about glam for 16 episodes. Congrats, Ragamuffin!
Do you agree with our ranking? Sound off in the comments below!
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills airs Wednesday at 9/8c on Bravo! Stay tuned at Good Tea for our exclusive tea and shady recaps on these 90210 bitches.
